Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Terry made a terribly good point following a terribly jerktastic post the other day following a Tradezone race. (Sorry that sentence WAS too much, but I did it anyway). How to be a good bike blogger. Unfortunately it also points out my failures as a blogger (and maybe as a biker) as well.

As my cycling has dwindled in time lately my posting has as well; and the postings that I do provide simply state my day to day activities in a dull, monochromatic drone of words on screen. Sadly I even realize it as I am doing it though I've just simply got nothing. The blog has been cycling centric and my life lately has been anything but.

So, here is my test of this tried and true 4 step program to blogger fame. Terry I'm counting on your wisdom here!

Any readers out there who still feel some strange pull to drop by and see what's happening should be overjoyed (this means no one) that spring is around the corner and activities in all facets of my life are about to pick up. I've even signed up for my first road race for the season! I excpect this news alone to bring hundreds to my site meter just over the first couple of hours after this is posted. I know my return to cycling has been long awaited by many (myself and maybe a teammate or two just so they can hand out some good old fashioned ass-whoopin's on a kid nearly half their age) and this news will cause dancing in the streets and guns to be fired throughout the DC Metro area. I gracefully request however that you all practice self-restraint during your week long celebrations.

Kyle: you can plan to feel a stiff headwind blowing by beginning in the mornings as you commute out to Beltsville as I begin riding into work again, though don't expect to see me as I'll be simply moving too fast. I know you've been working hard for a while but I have every intention of shattering the commuters record between Greenbelt and DC. You will stand no chance.

Commrades: I hope you are all looking eagerly forward to our training camp. Bring a couple of pairs of extra legs, just in case I mistakenly break your normal ones. (I will be in the kiddie class training rides; we've something like the A ride, the B ride and the C ride... I, like I said will be in the k ride). Terry, this means you.

Greenbelt: I will rule Greenbelt this season. I mean think about it, home field advantage and everything. Plus all I have to do to win it every week is get out there on Tuesday, put in my laps and finish before everyone else (the next evening). Greenbelt will be my bread and butter this season so watch out! They may even have to start offering prizes for anyone who just might beat me out there since it will so incredibly rare. I might even break out the downtube shifters to make things even more fun.

Oh yeah... bike porn... This is straight up hot and sexy stuff right here. You will not want to miss it. I on the other hand will certainly be regretting it for the second time. I haven't shared this on my own blog but I figure it's about time. If you read Freewheel's entertaining blog then you may have seen a couple of these. I obviously took a very different interpretation of the contest.

So since my site meter doesn't work I'll just assume that the fame of this blog in it's peak combined with the growing online regional presence of cyclists will net me at least thousands of hits over the next couple of days. I look forward to the fan mail and hate mail; all of which may be sent directly to kmaxtrax@gmail.com

Should a target be placed on my bike after this, please, just remember that I look like this:


Kyle Jones said...

Your bike porn is so awesome. I mean that is fantastic. I am going to point it out if Mike doesn't. I have been beaten at my own game. You should add a pic that says it got a little dirty, and show a little chain rub on your legs. haha.

Were you riding home tonight because that headwind was pretty stiff.

Freewheel said...

That's just classic. That's what made you a bike porn contest winner!

It's almost time for another bike porn contest.

the Drunken Housewife said...

I'm holding my Second Annual Readers' Photo Contest if you can muster up some inspiration... Come be a star at another blog! I am still jealous of the Freewheeling Spirit that you did that shoot for him. Heh.